Columbus Shocked: Local Giant Pumpkin Hurls Itself Down I-270

Columbus Shocked: Local Giant Pumpkin Hurls Itself Down I-270Columbus Shocked: Local Giant Pumpkin Hurls Itself Down I-270 In an unprecedented display of vegetal defiance, a colossal pumpkin from the Pleasant Prairie Pumpkin Patch took matters into its own vine-covered hands and careened down the busy I-270 highway. Witnesses reported that the pumpkin, weighing in at a staggering 2,456 pounds, suddenly detached itself from its vine and rolled onto the busy roadway. As stunned motorists swerved and braked, the pumpkin hurtled along the interstate, smashing through guardrails and leaving a trail of shattered orange flesh in its wake. “It was like something out of a nightmare,” said eyewitness Emily Carter. “One minute I was driving along, listening to the radio, and the next thing I know, a giant pumpkin is flying towards me.” The pumpkin’s rampage continued for several miles, causing widespread chaos. Traffic was brought to a standstill as pumpkins smashed into cars, narrowly missing unsuspecting drivers. “I thought it was a meteor!” exclaimed Derek Johnson, who was rear-ended by a pumpkin while stopped in traffic. “It took me hours to get it out of my trunk.” Eventually, police managed to apprehend the runaway pumpkin using a combination of heavy equipment and a large net. The pumpkin was transported to the Columbus Zoo and Aquarium, where it is currently being held in a secure enclosure until plans can be made for its disposal. Experts are baffled by the pumpkin’s sudden act of violence. Some speculate that it was driven by a desire for revenge after being overlooked for the annual pumpkin carving contest. Others believe it may have been a form of vegetable activism, highlighting the dangers of genetically modified foods. “We’ve never seen anything like this before,” said Dr. Edward Greensmith, lead botanist at the Ohio State University. “It’s a mystery that science may never fully understand.” In the wake of the incident, the city of Columbus has declared a state of emergency and has imposed a ban on all pumpkins weighing over 50 pounds. Residents are being advised to keep their pumpkins securely indoors until further notice. Meanwhile, the giant pumpkin named “Behemoth” has become an instant legend, a symbol of both the absurdity and the indomitable spirit of nature.