Baltimore Buckles Under Weight of Record-Setting Crab Boil

Baltimore Buckles Under Weight of Record-Setting Crab BoilBaltimore Buckles Under Weight of Record-Setting Crab Boil Baltimore, MD — The once-serene harbor city of Baltimore has been brought to its knees under the staggering weight of a colossal crab boil that has set an unprecedented record. On Saturday, hordes of crustacean enthusiasts descended upon the Inner Harbor Pier, eager to partake in the city’s annual summer festival. However, no one could have anticipated the sheer magnitude of the culinary catastrophe that would ensue. As tons of Chesapeake Blue Crabs were dumped into massive pots, the city’s infrastructure groaned and buckled. The weight of the crustaceans caused sidewalks to crack, manhole covers to burst open, and the pier to sag dangerously. Emergency responders were swiftly deployed to evacuate the area as the boil grew out of control. Fire trucks were used to pump water onto the boiling pots, while helicopters evacuated stranded festival-goers from the sinking pier. “It’s complete pandemonium out there,” said Mayor Jack Young. “Baltimore has never seen anything like this before. The weight of the crabs is crushing everything in its path.” The crab boil, which was intended to celebrate the city’s rich seafood heritage, has instead become a symbol of its impending doom. Engineers estimate that it will take weeks to repair the damage caused by the record-breaking event. “This is a disaster for Baltimore,” said Councilman Brandon Scott. “Our city will be scarred by this crab boil for years to come.” As the cleanup efforts continue, the city of Baltimore is left grappling with the aftermath of its crustacean-induced calamity. Seafood lovers around the nation mourn the loss of so many delicious crabs, while the residents of Baltimore brace for the long road ahead to rebuild their broken city.